Oh, Terrible to Lose Prohibition?

by Joseph Martin Cunningham

Now, many a man has said, “If we can,
We ought to get rid of prohibition,
For if we do so, as sure as you know,
This land will improve condition.”

But the whole of the story isn’t laden with glory,
As you’ll see if you think it clear through —
For the country’s condition without prohibition
Would involve still a problem or two.
Just what could be done with the runners of rum
Who then unemployed would be?
What could we do with whole of the crew
Now running the anti-rum navy?

And what of the spies, and special “Prohi’s”,
And snoopers, and stoolies, and all?
Could we cast them aside to await and abide
Some cure for the shock of their fall?
Just think of the army, multitudinous army
Of now busy vendors of booze;
With a quick simple jerk they would be out of work
Along with the anti-rum crews.
Then what of the stiller, the liquor trade’s pillar —
Oh, what would the stiller do?
Move in form the hills away from his stills
To start “pounding pavement”, too?

Just think of the woe, the terrible woe —
Of all the sorrowful — think!
Why His Honor Judge Treat, and the cop on the beat